Wedding is a Day, Marriage is a Lifetime

“Wedding is a Day, Marriage is a Lifetime”, It was not just a simple quote when you decide to start your couple life.

Of course you have lots of arguments, thoughts, and conflicts. You can’t run away from it. You just need to face and solve it TOGETHER. The conflicts are common things like mother in-law, money, siblings, etc.

You had been feel tired, sad, anger, and disappointing with your partner for few years. For only few years? Please be realistic. There are lots of couples who had gone through this matters whole life. How can they survive?

Rings

I can say that a LOVE was involved. Trust, patience, and faith were made from LOVE.

Did you give your partner chances? another chances? and another chances? and another chances?

I feel sad to hear some of people make lightning decision to divorce. Reason: I have long enough few years to wait him/her to change his/her habits. Or I had been patience long enough to hope his/her changes. So it’s all about CHANGE. (Other reason might be spouse cheating, it will have different treatment here).

Have you change yourself enough before you do your judgement?

Me and my wife had gone thru so many things, even just few years married. We attended Engage Encounter and Marriage Encounter. The course brought us to see our reality in marriage (and please it never talk about religion, even tough it was hold by Catholic). I believe there are plenty of Marriage course in the world trying to help all trouble couples.

Reality? Yes! So when you see the conflict comes, what will you do? Talk and discuss. Then when the conflict cannot solve, then what will you do?

When me and wife feel down each other, we do talk. If we can’t talk, we do a LOVE letter. There are plenty good and lovable things you can do to retain your marriage.

Just married couple, holding hands and walking in natureMarriage is a lifetime. You will always see your partner for a whole of your life. And they are not just partner. They have many thoughts and habits that might be different with you. The differences that make marriage life’s beautiful.

You can’t change them. You can’t change your mother in-law or runaway from it. You can’t blame the money. You can’t compare by counting your few years life to see your spouse’s life and adapt it. It’s all about YOU. It’s YOU who will make your spouse’ life in happiness or sadness, or maybe miserable.

You might need to think about this questions before you start do stupid thing. What do you feel about your spouse weakness? What do you really like from your spouse?  You just need to answer it in LOVE, not HATE.

Those questions were raised by my best friends when I discussed with them about a friend’s marriage. I just need to record it. Hopefully this writing can help some people to change their mind.

(also, apologize for my very limited English).

 

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